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The Commandments: Chapter 1

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The Commandments: Chapter 1

Post by Merci on 15/10/2010, 11:38 am

Trains. All I hear anymore is trains. They rage through the night like the elephants of India or the tigers of South America. I didn't know it then, but those trains were taking people to their deaths. Those trains, pure black outside my bedroom window, were the Devils personal delivery carts, taking hundreds, thousands to their deaths.

It wasn't always this way, I thought to myself as I lay in bed. No, I was lying to myself, trying to convince my mind that nothing more would come of these trains. The a startling screech that made me jump. It carried on through the night for a few seconds before coming to an abrupt stop. Doors, opening, and closing. Clanking, the pound of boots, getting ever closer. I smothered my head into my pillow and let my eyes close.

The next thing I knew, my mother, her face hidden in smoke, was yelling and pressing something against my chest. I came out of my dazed state of sleepiness to see finally understand what she was saying. She was screaming at me ferociously, with all her might. "Run! Run!" I saw what she was pressing to me, it was a single wheel of cheese. I understood perfectly, and took off, out the window, through the night.

I couldn't see very well, though I knew my way around the town of which I lived. It was an otherwise small, nameless town outside the major city of Warsaw, Poland. I ran through the streets, through the rubble which had been moved around by beggars and homeless families in desperate search for food. I was small and swift, and moved expertly through the crying crowds. I ran until my legs were throbbing and feet bleeding.

I bore right and ran south to the heart of the town, there, I settled behind some rocks and stopped my breathing. I knew this day would come, I simply knew it, not because my father had told me it would, but because other people said so, too. They said that the black suited people were coming from Warsaw to takes us away on trains. Some called it resettlement, where our lives would be great. Others talked about it in secret, like my mother and father, who had devised this plan with me many times.

I tried to look out of the alleyway, but something tapped my shoulder, when I turned around the see what it was, I was hit in the head, hard. I tried to look up again, but could see nothing through the darkness but the clubs next blow. I was out cold.

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I don't want to set the world on fire. I just want to start, a flame in your heart.
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Re: The Commandments: Chapter 1

Post by Mezkiel on 15/10/2010, 12:18 pm

Wow, whos this by?
its really good!
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Re: The Commandments: Chapter 1

Post by Luffy on 15/10/2010, 12:19 pm

I saw this on the GoD forums. I think this is Merci's work.

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Re: The Commandments: Chapter 1

Post by Skull on 15/10/2010, 1:10 pm

MarkiiN07 wrote:I saw this on the GoD forums. I think this is Merci's work.
It is Merci's work.

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Re: The Commandments: Chapter 1

Post by Mezkiel on 15/10/2010, 1:17 pm

Wow,
im genuinly impressed.
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Re: The Commandments: Chapter 1

Post by Merci on 15/10/2010, 2:08 pm

Mezkiel wrote:Wow, whos this by?
its really good!
I wrote it, I write a lot =/

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I don't want to set the world on fire. I just want to start, a flame in your heart.
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Re: The Commandments: Chapter 1

Post by Mezkiel on 15/10/2010, 2:20 pm

I may not like you but i gotta say.
Your really good at writing.
why dont you take it too a publisher?


Last edited by Mezkiel on 15/10/2010, 2:38 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Re: The Commandments: Chapter 1

Post by Skull on 15/10/2010, 2:37 pm

Mezkiel wrote:I may not like you but i gotta say.
Your really good a writing.
why dont you take it too a publisher?
Yeah Merci, why not ?

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Re: The Commandments: Chapter 1

Post by Merci on 15/10/2010, 2:52 pm

Skull wrote:
Mezkiel wrote:I may not like you but i gotta say.
Your really good a writing.
why dont you take it too a publisher?
Yeah Merci, why not ?
Because I have to finish first, but I do plan on it =P

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I don't want to set the world on fire. I just want to start, a flame in your heart.
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Re: The Commandments: Chapter 1

Post by Mezkiel on 15/10/2010, 2:52 pm

Nice.
Send me a copy Wink
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Re: The Commandments: Chapter 1

Post by Skull on 15/10/2010, 3:09 pm

Merci wrote:
Skull wrote:
Mezkiel wrote:I may not like you but i gotta say.
Your really good a writing.
why dont you take it too a publisher?
Yeah Merci, why not ?
Because I have to finish first, but I do plan on it =P
Ahhh.. Good luck dude Very Happy

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Re: The Commandments: Chapter 1

Post by Luffy on 16/10/2010, 1:22 pm

Good job Merci!

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